


Drive

by orphan_account



Series: The "Alone" series [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU within an AU, Angst, Castiel-centric, Dark Dean Winchester, Dark Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Post-Season/Series 09, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3249155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Castiel just likes to drive. Because not driving would mean looking back at nothing but hell fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drive

**Author's Note:**

> Number 3! Cas based! Sequel to "Alone" read that first you people! This is an au, within an au for now. Because I can't decide whether this should be part of the verse or not.

Castiel likes to drive.

He pretends that Dean's there. 

The old Dean.

Not whatever the hell was in the body he left behind.

But, for some reason, some how he just _knows_.

That the memories hurt worse than the real thing would.

And that terrifies him.

Because that would mean his Dean was worse than the thing that killed his brother.

But his Dean wasn't.

Because he said so.

***

Some days, before he leaves whatever motel he's stuck in before he has to pay,

He checks his phone.

Most of the messages are from Sam.

Drunken rambles of _"Fuck you, Castiel. You sunufa bitch. Just fix him s'mehow."_

Those ones make him snort.

Because Sam, the one that killed Dean, made sure he couldn't.

But the other one, the one that make Castiel doubt what he's doing,

The one with the small click of a safety in the background.

That one makes him want to go back.

_"Castiel, I won't call you again. J*click*st leave me alone. Bye."_

But he doesn't.

He never can.

So he continues to drive.

***

It's two days after that when he gets a phone call. 

It's Charlie. 

She came back from Oz. 

And the first thing she sees is Sam lying dead on the floor. 

A gun in his hand. 

A phone in the other. 

He doesn't go back. 

He consoles her over the phone. 

But he can't go back. 

Never. 

He drives on. 

*** 

If everyone else is dead, Sam should be allowed to be, too. 

But he's not. 

Because Castiel is _selfish_. 

Because Castiel is a dependant _child_.

So he sends some angel to pull Sam Winchester out of hell. 

Because no matter what, 

He needs someone. 

Even if that someone is the abomination. 

The devil's child.

_ A monster. _

And yet still, he considers turning around. 

*** 

When Sam leaves in the bunker, he has to call Castiel. 

But eventually, that "has to" turns into a "needs to". 

They get stuck in this circle of interdependence that both of them want to leave. 

They just can't. 

And it's small things, when Castiel decides to show up at the bunker. 

And it's small things, when they start this whole "hate sex" relationship. 

Small things, like sure, Castiel is short, but not short enough. 

Or that Sam's hair is too long and isn't the right shade of brown. 

Or that they're not the right brother in the first place. 

It takes about a week of this. 

This weird domestic bliss that isn't bliss at all. 

Like waking up to food because Sam doesn't hunt that often anymore. 

Or when he wakes up and him and Sam are in the _same fucking bed_. 

Every cell in his body tells him to leave, to get away. 

Because this is the boy with the demon blood. 

_ And you need to drive.  _

_ You need to get away.  _

**_ Now. _ **

But he doesn't,

Because no matter what,

Sam Winchester loved Castiel's brother,

And he has to protect him for that.

He has to protect him for Gabriel.

So he doesn't drive.

But he wants to.


End file.
